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Relationships : the key to a complete life


A good deal of our happiness, and our sorrow, arises from these relationships. The people nearest to us, such as spouses, parents, children, siblings, or close friends and relatives are usually the source of our deepest anxieties, fears, insecurities, unhappiness or pain, as indeed they are of joy, love, support, affirmation, comfort, solace, guidance, and a complete life.

If relationships are so central to our existence as human beings, if we spend so much time on them and in them, if they can, in fact, make or break us, then what is the secret to getting them right? Why don’t we learn how to manage these crucial aspect of out lives If only we knew this, we might not only prevent much sorrow but also actually create a good deal of happiness. And we may finally find a way of being at peace with ourselves and with others. There is, of course, no simple answer to this complicated question.

In relationships, every mistake is magnified, every error multiplied until, in the end, we might find ourselves completely lost, helpless and confused, even devastated. Where did we go wrong? What could we have done better? Why did we waste all those years? How can we rectify the mistakes?

This is true for personal as well as business relationships.

We at Mentors felt that we should therefore address ALL relationships and are therefore conducting a workshop of a unique kind.

We have found that for proper relationships. we should ourselves also in a better manner. We must understand ourselves and each other to really form proper relationships.

Our 5 Hours Open Workshop would be on  “Creating Fulfilling & Rewarding Relationships” using advanced psychometric tests like Extended DISC®.

Get Your Behavioural Analysis Report As Well As Tips for Enhancing Relationship Effectiveness FIRST TIME AT Baroda For Its Citizens, Their Spouse & Family Members !!

Want to enjoy wealth of interpersonal relationships ? Remember, you owe it to yourself to invest in your relationships.

Register NOW. Registration followed by online assessment to be done till 25th February 2014 and complimentary 5 hour workshop starts from 2nd March  2014 @ The Mentors & Enablers Corporate office.

Call on us @ 098245 09399 / email @ or visit us @

Our new Avataar


We have had an amazing period of growth in the area of  trainers and management  consultants that is essentially our passion.

We have been fortunate to be able to pursue our  passion and in the process,  make  a  difference to  many people. Growth and improvement is a life long process process,  as we all know. and  we are extremelyy happy that  we are indeed thriving.

We could like to thank  all our  clients  for   the  confidence  and  support  that ‘enabled ‘  us to  be a part of  their growth during the nine years of our existence and progress.  We  have seen  small firms  growing  rapidly,  firms facing severe attrition becoming stable and steady,  firms recognising the innate talent tha t w as  present in  the ir  firm and many other  developments.

None of this would have been possible without the confidence reposed in us. We always maintain we just helped people bloom. The potential was always there, it  only needed to be tapped. In the process of helping you, we have grown too. Now, we have grown from being “free lancers” to being an institute wedded to human & organization development.

We therefore have changed from “The Mentors – Trainers & Management Consultants” to “The Mentors & Enablers – Trainers & Management Consultants”

Our web-address has been reincarnated as and will be live from 22nd  January, 2014.

Do write to us our founder at

or our team members. Mona and Rasshi at …

Our new office address from Wednesday 22nd January, 2014 :

The Mentors & Enablers

Trainers & Management Consultants

Suite 308, Sanket Avenue, opp. Ambe Vidyalaya – M S Hostel, Sama Savli Road, Vadodara – 390 024

We would love to receive your comments all the time  from both  online/  offline.

New Business Lessons for a topsy turvy world


The world is indeed turning topsy turvy with new lessons being written all the time. Which means that we’re going to see leadership emerge as the most important element of business — the attribute that is highest in demand and shortest in supply.

When it comes to talent, leadership doesn’t income-average. It’s a favourite one-liner these days: There is no ‘I’ in team. What crap! Is there anyone who really thinks that any company without a good leader could have ever emerged successful ? Yes, teamwork is important. But no, teamwork doesn’t mean bringing everyone with exceptional talent down to the level of the lowest common denominator.

Leaders love to celebrate attitude and yes, quirkyness. One leader who deserves to be celebrated? That fabulous class 2 teacher your Kid has — the one who sees each of her 40 charges as unique-quirky souls who are in totally different places on their developmental paths toward becoming their cool-peculiar selves. The class 2 teacher whom you should avoid at all costs? The one who’s got everything under control, with all of the kids sitting at their desks, completely unable to express themselves. There’s no mess — and no creativity, no energy, no inspired leadership. You want leadership? Go find a fabulous class 2 teacher, and watch how she ‘plays’ the classroom.

The best leader is just what’s advertised: the best leader. Leaders get their kicks from orchestrating the work of others — not from doing it themselves.

Leaders deliver. If you’re aiming to be a real leader during the next five years, then you need to mimic the pizza man: You’d better deliver! For the past few years, ideas and cool have counted (which was important). What counts now? Performance. Results

Now,  there won’t be room for paper pushers. Only people who make personal determinations to be leaders will survive — and that holds true at all levels of all organisations (including entry level).

Surprisingly, we’ve seen this phenomenon take place most often where most people least expect to find it: in the military. First, war is the ultimate improvisional venture, the most improvisational, least hierarchical situation. But second, real-life experience in the Army or in the Navy teaches you that you must have leaders at every level. So too in today’s corporate wars. In this new world order, the real battle starts when the computer gets knocked out, the captain gets killed, the lieutenant is gravely wounded, the sergeant is hesitant, and suddenly the 18-year-old farmhand finds himself leading a platoon into combat. And the life and death of the company or the team or the project hangs in the balance. That’s leadership at all levels, which boot camp teaches a lot better than business school.

Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time.

Leaders understand the ultimate power of relationships. Here’s a mind-blowing proposition: War — or business on a wartime footing — is fundamentally a woman’s game! Why? Because when everything’s on the line, what really matters are the relationships that leaders have created with their people.

Go for it, people, become great leaders in the new world for after all, you are going to be the game changers.

What are the traits of good leaders ?


In our experience, we have found two kinds of people who do not really succeed. One is the kind of person who refuses to listen to anybody and the other is the kind od person who listens to everybody.

Both practices are recipes for disaster. Successful people don’t take the advice of everyone, nor do they try to do everything on their own. Instead, they find successful models who exemplify the values, skills and qualities they desire to possess.

Think about all great leaders, whether in corporates or in history.  They have always carved their own path and only listened to the views of others. For instance, nobody ever thought that Indians could ever build a five star hotel. J R D Tata proved them wrong.  Nobody ever thought cooperatives could work. Varughese Kurien proved them wrong. The point is they also were such role models whom everybody wished to emulate. Even today, such leaders are remembered and venerated. We surely can not only remember them but learn some lessons from them.

One of the most important leadership principles we have seen in our practise is is this: People do what people see. When your team looks at you, when they watch what you do day in and day out, what do they see? If they were to emulate you, how would you rate them?

We need to base our leadership primarily on values and a pragmatic approach.

We must know that everyone in an organisation will do or try to do what a leader does. Good leaders must ask themselves what kind of habits they want their followers to have.

Some traits we recommend for good leaders to always have and cultivate are –

1. A Passion for Personal Growth

We know too many people who suffer from what we call “Destination Disease.” They’ve identified a certain career position or financial goal they want to reach, and then they work very hard to achieve that goal. But once they get there, they stop working hard and growing.

This mindset creates two problems for leaders. First, it causes them to stall. Everyone will stop improving the moment they lose the tension between where they are and where they have the potential to be. Second, it sets a bad example for their followers.

Think about it: How many people in your current circle didn’t see your former self, the one who fought hard to achieve? If you’re resting on your laurels, they’ll assume you are doing what you’ve always done and follow suit.

If you feel yourself slowing down, it’s time for a self-assessment. If you’re done working, retire and get out of the way of your business. But if you stay, you must keep striving. If you slacken, your people will do the sameDestination Disease is highly contagious. To keep it from taking hold, set new, higher goals for yourself and make sure your people see you pursuing them. It’s a surefire way to keep your organization humming.

2. A Heart for People

People want to know that the leaders they follow can be trusted. They want to know that the leader cares about them as people, not just as tools to help realize a vision.

Taking this extra time also forces good leaders to stop and listen. How can you add value to people if you don’t know them and understand what they want? So slow down. Talk. Listen. Connect. This practice will not only help you grow as a leader, it will also establish a caring culture across all levels of your organization.

3. An Ability to Coach Others to Reach Their Potential

The only difference between a rich person and a poor person is how they use their time.

One of the best things we did for an organisation we were working with was to talk to people about their priorities. One lady we met and tried to mentor was a sincere, hardworking woman who had not really reached her potential. She was a good leader and got a lot done, but she sometimes lost sight of the big picture. Our regular meetings helped her to stay on track.


We suggest you mentor your people. Show them how you seek guidance on your own endless quest for self-improvement.

These steps will surely help you and your organisation bloom.

Who is a great leader ?


In our experience, we have often tried to figure out what exactly makes a great leader.

Do certain personality traits make people better-suited to leadership roles, or do characteristics of the situation make it more likely that certain people will take charge? When we look at the leaders in various organisations we have dealt with, we have realised that there are different approaches that different people adopt.

Actually, throughout history, people have long been interested in leadership throughout human history, but it has only been relatively recently that a number of formal leadership theories have emerged. Interest in leadership increased during the early part of the twentieth century.

Early leadership theories focused on what qualities distinguished between leaders and followers, while subsequent theories looked at other variables such as situational factors and skill levels.

Some of them were :-

1. “Great Man” Theories

Have you ever heard someone described as “born to lead?” According to this point of view, great leaders are simply born with the necessary internal characteristics such as charisma, confidence, intelligence, and social skills that make them natural-born leaders.

Great man theories assume that the capacity for leadership is inherent – that great leaders are born, not made. These theories often portray great leaders as heroic, mythic and destined to rise to leadership when needed. The term “Great Man” was used because, at the time, leadership was thought of primarily as a male quality, especially in terms of military leadership.

2. Trait Theories

Similar in some ways to Great Man theories, trait theories assume that people inherit certain qualities and traits that make them better suited to leadership. Trait theories often identify particular personality or behavioral characteristics shared by leaders. For example, traits like extraversion, self-confidence, and courage are all traits that could potentially be linked to great leaders.

If particular traits are key features of leadership, then how do we explain people who possess those qualities but are not leaders? This question is one of the difficulties in using trait theories to explain leadership. There are plenty of people who possess the personality traits associated with leadership, yet many of these people never seek out positions of leadership.

3. Contingency Theories

Contingency theories of leadership focus on particular variables related to the environment that might determine which particular style of leadership is best suited for the situation. According to this theory, no leadership style is best in all situations. Success depends upon a number of variables, including the leadership style, qualities of the followers and aspects of the situation.

4. Situational Theories

Situational theories propose that leaders choose the best course of action based upon situational variables. Different styles of leadership may be more appropriate for certain types of decision-making. For example, in a situation where the leader is the most knowledgeable and experienced member of a group, an authoritarian style might be most appropriate. In other instances where group members are skilled experts, a democratic style would be more effective.

5. Behavioural Theories

Behavioural theories of leadership are based upon the belief that great leaders are made, not born. Consider it the flip-side of the Great Man theories. Rooted in behaviorism, this leadership theory focuses on the actions of leaders not on mental qualities or internal states. According to this theory, people can learn to become leaders through teaching and observation.

6. Participative Theories

Participative leadership theories suggest that the ideal leadership style is one that takes the input of others into account. These leaders encourage participation and contributions from group members and help group members feel more relevant and committed to the decision-making process. In participative theories, however, the leader retains the right to allow the input of others.

7. Management Theories

Management theories, also known as transactional theories, focus on the role of supervision, organization and group performance. These theories base leadership on a system of rewards and punishments. Managerial theories are often used in business; when employees are successful, they are rewarded; when they fail, they are reprimanded or punished. Learn more about theories of transactional leadership.

8. Relationship Theories

Relationship theories, also known as transformational theories, focus upon the connections formed between leaders and followers.

Transformational leaders motivate and inspire people by helping group members see the importance and higher good of the task. These leaders are focused on the performance of group members, but also want each person to fulfil his or her potential.


No matter what the theory and style, good leaders know there is always scope for improvement.

We, as trainers and development consultants have always found there is benefit in each style, depending on the context and situation. We have also found the maximum benefit is when there is a continuous process of improving one’s organization all the time. Hence, we suggest you do invest the time in improving your leadership.

Believe us, it is worth it.

Being busy in the corporate world

What is a typical day for anyone in the corporate world ? Whenever, we ask anyone about their day, it is always busy, busy and busy. However. what really is being busy?

Let us look at a typical routine “officially” of a corporate executive. Do note that the word “him” applies to both men and women.

8 AM: The “achiever” arrives at the office before anyone else. Everyone starts between 9 and 10 AM, but the achiever likes to get a head-start and work quietly for at least one hour before the open space gets full. He sends an update on the project status to everyone as he does really want everyone to know his dedication.

9 AM: People start coming in and he keeps his head down and serious at his desk. He is the only one who is always formally dressed as he does not want to seem unprofessional to anyone at any point in time. After all, a client could shows up in the building unannounced.

10 AM:  He starts preparing a presentation for next Monday. His manager offered to let him take on the next project. Perhaps it is because of his dedication or just maybe it’s because he just likes him.

11 AM: Tea break. He just observes and casually joins in conversations (and speculation) about the upcoming bonus season.

11:30 AM: We have a monthly meeting at 2 PM and my manager didn’t have the time to prepare his slides (no kidding !!) so I need to do it ASAP.

I wonder how he can be surprised – the same meeting takes place every month and I’m thinking about actually booking it as an “emergency time” on my calendar.

1 PM: Now that I’m almost done, my manager reviews it and makes me change everything by annotating with a red marker instead of using the “track changes” feature in PowerPoint.

1:30 PM: All the modifications are done. I only have 30 minutes for lunch but I don’t really need them because almost everyone eats in front of their computer nowadays.

2 PM: The monthly meeting starts. It’s a one-hour update about this month’s performance and objectives for the next one. Every manager pitches his own business and around 40 slides are presented.

Of course, we only spend one minute on what I created. Almost 3 hours of preparation for one minute of presentation – this is something that used to bother me earlier but it does not any more..

3 PM: We’ve got another meeting. My mission has an obscure link to their work so my boss asked me to come. I accepted enthusiastically because thus is a good way to pass time and yet look professional.

4 PM: I go back to my desk and connect to the internal job search engine. I browse through the latest openings and forward the interesting ones to a bunch of friends. It feels good to be helpful, but I’m not doing this only for the sake of philanthropy – HR offers a payment if they recruit someone you recommend.

5 PM: I receive an “urgent” email – on a Friday at 5 PM.

So I start reviewing a old model I developed one month ago and I send over some guidelines so that he can pretend to review it.

6 PM: I leave with the boss and we chat in the elevator about our plans for the weekend, and he offers me a ride home before having a drink in a restaurant.

When I return home, my family asks me how my day was. Well, as usual, I replied that is was an extremely busy day…

Strategic thinking by involving all participants


Strategic thinking ‘is predicated on involvement’ of key participants. Participants are everyone in the organisation, starting from top to bottom.

To think strategically, all participants must be active, involved, connected, committed, alert and stimulated.Such thinking must not only be informed by the moving details of action, but be driven by the very presence of that action.

Strategic leaders look to the future and base their vision on fundamental beliefs about various aspects of the organization. The function of strategy is to translate the moral purpose and

vision into reality. Thee second phase is translating this strategy into action. When we are asked for advice, we tell our clients about an approach of translating strategy into action is something that has worked for us:

Stage 1: Articulation

This phase refers to communication about the strategies. Leaders may initiate conversations but, even more importantly, encourage wide participation among key parties.

Communication can occur also in more formal ways; that is, writing down strategic goals and methods used to accomplish them. Finally, establishing the structure to facilitate articulation is critical.

Stage 2: Building

This phase doesn’t necessarily follow the previous one but is really meant to rally staff around the strategy to gain their input and support.   Building refers to extending the vision and support for it.

Stage 3: Creating

This phase emphasises utilising creative ways of initiating a dialogue with others to motivate them to share a ‘conceptual or mental map of the future’. They explain, ‘What strategic leaders are able to do is step back and articulate the main features of the current organisation,which might be called the strategic architecture of the organisation.

Stage 4: Defining

This phase involves identifying ‘desired outcomes’ and designing specific strategies to achieve them. In all efforts involving strategic leadership, aligning people’s interests and abilities with ways of promoting strategic initiatives is critical to the entire process, and represents a third phase or key activity of a strategic leader. Once key people and the roles they can and are willing to play are identified, the strategic leader must keep them motivated and on target.



All this does require planning, but believe us, it is truly worth it. We have seen the results in all organisations who have a commitment to improving the leadership of their organisation and surely, this will also work for you.